in hindsight, i am wrong
and memories are the ones
leaving me broken and hot
with my brain telling me
" you cannot walk away
you are stuck, quiescent in the thick brown sludge of your memories."
i found myself engulfed in all that i hated and all that i loved;
all i wanted to happen, that never seemed to work out;
"remember those people who wanted to love you, but didn't make you happy?"
"that was a disappointment."
tonight, sucking the progress from me,
sadness carries me out to sea,
where i sink down to the ocean floor, forget everything, and don't start over again,
but thoughts are liquid,
movable.
they wrap around me
like the warmth of a grandmothers quilt,
comforting, telling:
"now,
everything is fine
everything is gone."
i sat down and stared at my eyelids till my mind shut down
and dreamed on about sweet lemon tea and the way sunshine feels like love.
