in moderation at best

When the morning tip toes up the hill
and up to our thin faces, with our deep dark drooping eyes,
we'll just laugh about all the 5 AM commuters
and throw water balloons at each other in the middle of that super Wal~Mart
while we hand out pamphlets to all the workers
telling them to put in their two weeks

and you can play guitar and i can sing harmonies,
and the tourists will call us artsy and young
as they waste their savings on vacations
that they intended to take before they had kids.

i think you would like it if i join a club for acrobats
and wrote stories and screenplays and sent in ideas to ABC Family

i think i'm just trying to find a hobby i won't get bored with after two months

something exciting.
something like you.

there is something in this world that grabs me like no other

and for the strangest reason, i let it take hold.

sitting on my wooden stool,
playing games with my mind,
i think i will let this one slide.
if i win, i still lose, if i lose, i still win.
so where am i if i quit?
and where am i now?
the world spinning around me.
space out to find me.
track me down. suck me in.
'don't forget to breathe' as my cross faded father would say.
"just remember how to breathe"


sinking below the pillows of a fort never made,
i feel my life drifting far away.
why didn't i remember to tie myself to sea weed?

we may never see each other again. that may be ok.
for now.
but one day

i will miss you.
one day. i will care. today. tomorrow.
in 6 years.

tomorrow i will walk down to where we met and feel the grass between my toes. the grass in my mind. the grass as a representation of the freedom you gave to me. all of you. thank you for that.