Something happens inside my head when i realize how much i really want to be with someone and how much i am willing to give up for them, even though i have no idea how they feel about me.

This morning i dreamed you kissed me.
I woke up alone.

I think about you a lot.
I say to myself
"I really like that kid"

I don't know what the fuck to do about it though.

I think I'll just go back to sleep.

Years Since Past

riding around,
i have lost my way

but then again

i am here

here i am


i watch you in mirrors
through glass
through glass


you're the book i read twelve times
and still cannot understand


like letters sent years since past
i see your face when i reminisce to fast


and all of the sudden my heart fills up
with the wings of butterflies that long ago passed
so i pretend i am a brick wall
but too soon i crumble down to the floor


oh and back when
i was with you

you reminded me of
a straw hat
on a hot summer day
to keep the sun
out of my face

or how one time you almost died
by running with scissors across my eyes


you filled the bathtub to over flow
you filled the sink to shave under you nose


i wasn't just young
or just naive
i wasn't innocent
or a petty tease
i was in it and
it was love



and it was sucking all my blood
draining all of me
draining me of all i was




but what about you


are you riding around?
in circles,
maybe squares,


but you are gone
so i shouldn't care



instead i wonder where i am

i'm riding around in
circles


i am here

here i am.

Why the Waist Band Always Gives Me a Headache

i can feel the bones in my arms, it
feels as if

the rushing air is hitting the back of
my

arm after the sun has danced over the
pacific.

like feathers,

or ice,

rushing agianst my skin,


like lying on a mountain side's

shallow river.


my head is spliced open,

i can imagine it,

so a medical class can see what it
looks
like in there

like to much movement,

too much excitement

too many tiny explosions of chemicals

between dendrite buttons and axons.


and i can feel the bones in

my arms it

feels as if they are

getting smaller and bigger

bigger from the inside out

smaller from the outside

out


the air, rushing, cold,

running

like water, streams of

air, like running

down a steep hill in the middle of an
autumn

night


and the moon is bright enough to

fake the sun,

and radiate me

like a medical class

examining the inside of my brain with

a CAT scan.
where there is too much going on
or not
enough to find anything wrong with
me
but
i just keep imagining i'm lying on a mountain side

in a shallow river
of
feathers,
or ice,
of moonlight

and i'm being carried
away to the
pacific.