They feel asleep together, on the bedroom floor of the lifeless abandoned house, surrounded by over excessive amounts of stale energy, with Mozart For Children sounding harsh but calm atop the breeze that floated through the tree and -uninvited- entered through the window. Wearing her boyfriend's shirt, with her out stretched right arm desiring to relieve stomach indigestion, Kara began loving her dog again. Before, when Shantie first became sick Kara had held no feelings toward the possible death of her dog, instead she talked of it as if it was the passing of a car at 2:44 AM while she waited for life to stop beginning, hoping it to start ending. Then she gave it more thought, and soon realized the pass that she once held with Shantie. Maybe, she thought, I let it fall behind the refrigerator. Still, she soon began feeling despondent of the thought that death could enlace her once best friend;she became penetrant to her memory and pulled past feeling such as love and fear from the deep down of her hippocampus.Waking to the squawk of a mocking bird, Kara swatted a few flies from the lifeless body of her sick, sleeping dog. Shantie began running in her sleep, trying to escape someone, maybe, trying to catch a lizard, maybe, trying to stay alive, maybe.
A fly buzzed Kara's still head as it lay upon a pile of clean clothes.She heard a it hit the window.
Kara thought to her self. It is Father's Day, she thought, it is summer time, and my father prefers his girlfriend over his family. Kara felt sick to the thought of her family that could never be fixed, that would always continue unraveling.
Kara sat up. She disliked it when her dogs came anywhere near her room; not like before when she would along side of their warm puppy fur. Still on this particular day she was feeling motherly, and caring, and had openly invited her dogs into her cool carpeted fortress.
The next day Kara vacuumed her room. She picked up all out of place objects, shifted her larger, even more useless furniture about her 8'x10' room, and vacuumed. as she vacuumed she pondered the life and death aspect of her attention deprived, suffering dog. Then she changed her thoughts to reincarnation as she hummed with the back and forth motion of the electric black hole. If bad people became dogs as punishment, the stupid dogs could represent the mass of humans that constantly make the same mistakes and despise learning from them. Shantie was a stupid dog, and Kara wondered if she had to obtain sickness to ever learn from her mistakes. Kara felt less sorry for her weak, shaking dog, but only for a moment, and seconds later she was encapsulated, isolated from the world, completely surrounded, by a feeling of sorrow, and it became so encumbering that she lost her sense of gravity and feel freely down to the depths of her floor. She lay there paralyzed, forced to listen to the continual hum of the monotonous vacuum, as she cried.
Kara stopped her struggle to move and embraced this paralysis as a chance to think; only her thoughts were louder than the vacuum's hum. "i am glued to the carpet" she said, trying to talk over the hum. "i am glued to this house, to this city, to this county, to this state. Even if i could move more than my vocal system, there would be nowhere to go, nothing to learn, no one to see. Maybe Shantie would be lucky to pass. Then one of us could get away. then there wouldn't be two broken hearted souls glued into one empathy lacking building."
Kara feel asleep after talking over the vacuum until she had enough control over her right hand and arm to turn it off. She dreamt of her empathy keeping Shantie alive. She envisioned it as a medicinal chemical reaction in the brain, one that could heal sicknesses, as long as it could recognize them. She woke up and the sky was a dark blue with faint stars showing through the carpeted ozone that we all breath in. She stubbed her toe on her bed, slowly-stumbling the whole way and ruffling her stiff sheet- Kara entered her covers, stepping inside the deflated fort of a five year old with no friends and no better ideas. When she dreamt, this time Shantie was a MTV reality show, and the only thing keeping the seven thousand two hundred sixty five viewers from changing the channel during the commercial break was the inquisition if Shantie would live or die.
At six twenty four Kara abruptly woke up to her mental alarm clock, wandered into her living room as a zombie enters the dark shadows of a run down office, and found Shantie alive, breathing in short painful spurts, which seemed to make the dog even more out of breath.
A fly buzzed Kara's still head as it lay upon a pile of clean clothes.She heard a it hit the window.
Kara thought to her self. It is Father's Day, she thought, it is summer time, and my father prefers his girlfriend over his family. Kara felt sick to the thought of her family that could never be fixed, that would always continue unraveling.
Kara sat up. She disliked it when her dogs came anywhere near her room; not like before when she would along side of their warm puppy fur. Still on this particular day she was feeling motherly, and caring, and had openly invited her dogs into her cool carpeted fortress.
The next day Kara vacuumed her room. She picked up all out of place objects, shifted her larger, even more useless furniture about her 8'x10' room, and vacuumed. as she vacuumed she pondered the life and death aspect of her attention deprived, suffering dog. Then she changed her thoughts to reincarnation as she hummed with the back and forth motion of the electric black hole. If bad people became dogs as punishment, the stupid dogs could represent the mass of humans that constantly make the same mistakes and despise learning from them. Shantie was a stupid dog, and Kara wondered if she had to obtain sickness to ever learn from her mistakes. Kara felt less sorry for her weak, shaking dog, but only for a moment, and seconds later she was encapsulated, isolated from the world, completely surrounded, by a feeling of sorrow, and it became so encumbering that she lost her sense of gravity and feel freely down to the depths of her floor. She lay there paralyzed, forced to listen to the continual hum of the monotonous vacuum, as she cried.
Kara stopped her struggle to move and embraced this paralysis as a chance to think; only her thoughts were louder than the vacuum's hum. "i am glued to the carpet" she said, trying to talk over the hum. "i am glued to this house, to this city, to this county, to this state. Even if i could move more than my vocal system, there would be nowhere to go, nothing to learn, no one to see. Maybe Shantie would be lucky to pass. Then one of us could get away. then there wouldn't be two broken hearted souls glued into one empathy lacking building."
Kara feel asleep after talking over the vacuum until she had enough control over her right hand and arm to turn it off. She dreamt of her empathy keeping Shantie alive. She envisioned it as a medicinal chemical reaction in the brain, one that could heal sicknesses, as long as it could recognize them. She woke up and the sky was a dark blue with faint stars showing through the carpeted ozone that we all breath in. She stubbed her toe on her bed, slowly-stumbling the whole way and ruffling her stiff sheet- Kara entered her covers, stepping inside the deflated fort of a five year old with no friends and no better ideas. When she dreamt, this time Shantie was a MTV reality show, and the only thing keeping the seven thousand two hundred sixty five viewers from changing the channel during the commercial break was the inquisition if Shantie would live or die.
At six twenty four Kara abruptly woke up to her mental alarm clock, wandered into her living room as a zombie enters the dark shadows of a run down office, and found Shantie alive, breathing in short painful spurts, which seemed to make the dog even more out of breath.
1 comment:
I'm up at four with a fever, and I finally just finished reading your blog.
I'm very impressed :)
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